10. “What time will we be done tonight?”
This one never ceases to amaze me. We ALWAYS close up at the same time each week. But without fail, I will have at least 3 students ask me this. I don’t know if it is just that they are incapable of remembering; or if they hope that we will extend the time before their parents need to pick them up and they will have to go home and finish their homework.
This one comes from the far end of the basketball court where my high school guys play pick-up b-ball every week before worship. I jumped in and played with them last week; and I learned a couple of things. One, I am extremely old and out of shape. Two, if you ever miss a shot, lose the handle on the ball or make a bad pass, all you have to do is yell, “Foul!” to cover it up. Because it couldn’t have been that you missed the basket due to the fact that you forced the ball down the paint amid four defenders and threw up an off balance shot over your head with your weak hand while hanging in the air with your back to the hoop… You had to have been fouled!
8. “I love him….we are going to be together forever!”
Usually uttered by a 14 year old girl; and sadly, she is not talking about Jesus. She is describing the object of her affection that has her head over heels and changing her facebook relationship status. She is convinced that she has found the guy that is sure to be the love of her life before she is old enough to get her learners permit.
Side note: Parents and Student Ministers, even though we know her soap-operatic drama is not at all a matter of life and death; remember that it IS a matter of life and death to her. Loving guidance is at times needed; but never disregard her feelings as ridiculous.
7. “He is such a jerk…I am so over Him!”
Uttered by the same 14 year old girl, about the same guy, usually the very next week. Although, in some extreme cases I have heard the two statements voiced in the same night.
6. “I wonder what’s for dinner.”
This one is probably my fault to have snacks or food of some kind on Wednesday Nights. But it has reached the point to where it triggers a Pavlov’s Response. As soon as they walk in the door they are salivating in wonder over what will be the culinary selection for the evening.
5. “When are we going to go play paintball?”
This statement is said to me by the same guy – almost every week. This kid loves him some paintball. He has his own gun and gear and the whole nine yards. And every time he asks I have that Vietnam-like flashback of my past paintball experiences. I do not enjoy paintball for a few reasons: I am slow; I am unskilled; and, let’s just be honest, I present a huge target. Getting my extra-large body sprayed with paint by this junior navy seal and his semi-automatic paintball gun of death is not my idea of a fun Saturday afternoon. That being said, Yes, Taylor we will make plans to go play paintball in the near future. I love my kids!
4. “Can we sing _____________ tonight?”
Insert the most over-done and over-used worship song of your choice. And it is usually a song that I like least of all the songs we sing. But trying to be accommodating I keep singing it over and over and over again week after week.
Side note: Few things give me greater joy as a Worship Leader and Student Minister than to stand alongside them and watch students worship God unashamedly through song.
3. “Yeah, I am really into science … science and cats.”
This is one of my all-time favorites. I overheard this random statement come out of the mouth of one of my middle school guys about a month ago at the Storehouse. I spent the rest of the evening and far too much time since then pondering the coalition between science and cats that can be drawn up in the mind of a 7th grade guy. Personally I hope he is working on a scientific discovery that would rid the world of cats. But that is an entirely different post all together.
2. “You wanna go to the bathroom?”
I hope it goes without saying that this is a statement shared between two young ladies. I have yet to hear one of my guys walk up to his buds and say, “you guys wanna go to the bathroom with me?” Awkward hypothetical moment! But for some reason it is socially acceptable for females to ask this of one another. It’s like a rite of passage type of thing that we guys will never understand. I do happen to know that my girl students love, love, love the huge full length mirror in the ladies bathroom at the Storehouse. It is perfect for taking those “look at me make a duck face with my friends while taking a picture of our reflection in the mirror so we can post it straight to facebook” pictures.
Who talks anymore? They are on their phones texting. They are on their Kindle Fire doing everything else BUT reading a book. Or have their ear-buds in, jamming out to the random tune selection on their iPods. And when did fashion begin to demand that you have to wire your headphones down through your clothes? O, that we would re-instill the importance of verbal interaction to a culture that already far to out of touch with one another.
What are some one liners you hear a lot from your students?