I Am NOT A Good Father

My wife left for a weekend mission trip yesterday; leaving me home alone with my five year old daughter, three year old son, and eight month old daughter for the first time since we became outnumbered by our offspring in our house.

Over the course of the past thirty hours, I have realized the following things:

– There is a teenager trapped in my five year old’s body.

– No matter how hard I try, it is impossible to reason with a three your old.

– I need to invent an alarm clock that sounds like a toddler puking – because once you hear that “bluuurpth,” there Is. No. Snooze!

– I am beyond incredibly grateful for my wife who stays home with our children every day.

– And lastly, I am not a good father. There I said it.

I am still wrestling with that last one. How can I not be a good father? People tell me what a great dad I am all the time. In fact, if you look at my social media, I am a #superawesomedad. But those snapshots of me smiling with my kids doing all different types of fun activities are just that – “snapshots.”

You know what you don’t see on my Instagram? You don’t see a picture of me ignoring my son as he tries to compete with the television for my attention. You don’t see me with my eyes glued to my phone while my daughter tries over and over again to show me the new thing she learned in gymnastics that day. You don’t see me disciplining or correcting my children out of frustration and anger instead of out of a heart of love and compassion. Of course no one posts those moments. But they reflect more of reality than I’d like to admit. Yet, here I am admitting it.

Why? Because through my shortcomings as a father, I am reminded more and more that there is only One truly Good Father. I am reminded that He never ignores me. He never puts me aside when I need His attention. He never corrects me out of anger, no matter how big of a mess I have made. Thank You, Lord!

                  “For You, O Lord, are good and forgiving, abounding in steadfast love
                                to all who call upon You.” – Psalm 86:5

Am I a horrible dad? No. But if The Father Himself is called Good, I know I have a long, long, loooooong way to go. But with each day, I want to strive to be more and more like my Good Good Father.

“You’re a Good, Good Father.
It’s who You are.
It’s who You are.
It’s who You are.
And I’m loved by You.
It’s who I am.
It’s who I am.
It’s who I am.”

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